100 Word Stories: Female Friendships
I’ve recently read (and re-read) Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton. Author Elizabeth Day has said, “Alderton is the Nora Ephron for the millennial generation,” and I am on board with this statement. This book pays homage to all the strength, complication, growth and allure found in female friendships. I am in debt to the female relationships in my life, even the troublesome ones. Dolly gave a voice to my gratitude. I asked four people to share their voice on female friendship and how it manifests in their life. Their voices, their stories are as layered and beautiful as female friendships themselves.
Creator of Trans-itional Thoughts
As a recently transitioned trans woman, female friendships have been joyful AND frustrating. Women are much nicer than men - they compliment me, joyfully greet me, and make me feel welcome. I love when they invite me to a restaurant or event. I have many more friends now. Cracking the code of CLOSE friendships, though, has been disheartening.They take a picture together without me or hang out together and I find out on Instagram. Is it me, or because I'm trans? I'm just insecure? I'm thankful to be in the outer circle...but will I ever be accepted into the inner circle?
Thorough as fuck.
That’s how I describe my friends. I don’t have many, but the ones I have may as well have come straight from the womb of God, herself. I’m not completely convinced they didn’t. You see, I’ve struggled with feeling accepted as many of us do. A lot of my insecurities came from friendships I longed for but was never valued in. These days, I’d be hard pressed to find a group of women as loving, inspiring, motivating and thorough as the women I call friends. In a 2019 kind of world, I’m glad I got my girls.
My very first friends, both now grown, powerful, beautiful, complex, intriguing, and in all ways wonderful women: my sisters.
Taught me that girls are fun. Playing alone on a farm is great but it’d be amplified an order of magnitude when they’d join.
That girls are adventurous. Sneaking out to the barn to spy on our parents while they held parties in the barn.
That girls are strong. Late at night we’d listen to our parents argue and I can almost remember looking up, though there were tears in my eyes, there was a determined look of toughness in hers.
The evolution of my female friendships begins with memories of a small girl jovially dancing about as Wendy while I fly from perch to perch as Peter. Soon, I’m 12 and trotting behind lithe creatures in coordinating outfits—-hopeful our homogenous look allows for safe navigation through a treacherous prepubescent sea. My mind flicks from holding my heartbroken best friend on her twin bed to our time in dive bars as the only two girls in a sea of pop punk boy hopefuls. At 19, on another twin bed a friend kisses me, my chest radiates, and she is the first.
I received a letter when I graduated high school. It was from my mother’s college roommate, Sal. I met her when I was younger, but my memory was too immature to store our interaction. In this letter, she humorously and passionately shared her gratitude toward my mother and the friendship they developed over time. My favorite line: “Your mother helped me lose the same 10 lbs. three times over.” I find solace in female friendships. From teammates to classmates to colleagues, close female friends came naturally to me. That letter showed me why: my mother laid the groundwork.